“Why I Became a Sexologist: The Questions Women Were Never Allowed to Ask”
If you had told me years ago that I would become a Board Certified Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach, I wouldn’t have believed you.
Not because I didn’t believe in the importance of sexual health but because for most of my life, like many women, I didn’t realize just how much we weren’t being told about our bodies.
My journey into this work didn’t begin in a classroom.
It began with a diagnosis.
The Moment Everything Started to Shift
In my early teens, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome).
Like many women navigating hormonal health issues, I quickly realized something frustrating: answers were hard to find.
I remember leaving appointments with more questions than clarity.
Why wasn’t anyone explaining how hormones impact:
libido
arousal
body image
relationships
emotional wellbeing
Sexual health is deeply connected to our overall wellbeing, yet it often felt like the topic sat just outside the conversation.
That curiosity and frustration planted the first seed.
The Unexpected Classroom: Living Rooms Full of Women
In my mid twenties, I started working in an in-home party plan business focused on sexual wellness products.
What most people saw as “toy parties” quickly became something very different.
Because once the laughter settled and the door closed, women started asking real questions.
Questions like:
Why does sex hurt now when it never used to?
Why don’t I feel desire anymore?
Why didn’t anyone teach us this about our bodies?
Is something wrong with me?
What struck me most was not the questions themselves.
It was the relief women felt when they realized they weren’t alone.
These weren’t rare issues.
They were incredibly common.
And yet most women had never been given clear, shame-free information about their own sexual health.
That realization changed everything for me.
When Curiosity Turned Into Purpose
Those early conversations sparked something deeper.
I realized many women were navigating:
hormonal changes
relationship shifts
body changes
sexual pain
loss of desire
without education, without support, and often without anyone safe to talk to.
Sexual health had been reduced to either:
silence
orshame
And I knew there had to be a better way.
That’s what ultimately led me down the path of becoming a clinical sexologist.
Not to sensationalize sex.
But to normalize it as part of overall health and wellbeing.
What My Work Looks Like Today
Today, through Sensuality Coach Clinic, I work with individuals and couples navigating topics like:
changes in desire
painful sex
midlife sexual wellness
communication in relationships
menopause and intimacy
rediscovering pleasure
The truth is that sexuality evolves throughout our lives.
Bodies change.
Hormones shift.
Relationships grow and transform.
And sometimes we simply need the education and space to explore those changes without judgment.
The Conversation We Deserved
One of the things I hear most often from clients is this:
"Why didn’t anyone ever teach us this?"
It’s a fair question.
For many people, sex education focused almost entirely on reproduction and risk — not on:
pleasure
communication
anatomy
intimacy
lifelong sexual wellbeing
But sexual health is not something that only matters in our twenties.
It matters throughout our lives.
Why I Created This Space
My work today is built on a simple belief:
Curiosity about your body should never be met with shame.
Sexual wellness should feel:
educational
empowering
playful
safe to explore
Sometimes it starts with a conversation.
Sometimes it starts with learning something new about how your body works.
And sometimes it simply starts with realizing you are not the only one asking these questions.
Continuing the Conversation
This blog will be a place where we explore topics like:
desire and arousal
menopause and sexual health
communication in relationships
anatomy and pleasure
common myths about sexuality
Because the truth is:
Sex education shouldn’t end in high school.
And the conversations many of us were never allowed to have are often the ones that matter most.
About the Author
Tamilynn Edwards is a Board Certified Clinical Sexologist and Sex Coach and founder of Sensuality Coach Clinic. Her work focuses on midlife sexual wellness, relationship intimacy, and shame-free sexual health education.
